Free PDF The Pastor's Family: Shepherding Your Family through the Challenges of Pastoral Ministry, by Brian Croft, Cara Croft
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The Pastor's Family: Shepherding Your Family through the Challenges of Pastoral Ministry, by Brian Croft, Cara Croft
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Pastoral ministry is more challenging than ever with unique, complicated burdens and expectations some have not experienced in previous generations. Because of this, the number of pastors who start with a great zeal for the work, quickly crash and burn and are left with a battered faith and family. This book seeks to identify those unique challenges, diagnose the problem, propose a biblical solution, and then guide the pastor and his family to embrace these challenges while shepherding the family through them.
- Sales Rank: #448043 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-08-20
- Released on: 2013-08-20
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Strongly Recommended
By Tim Challies
I admit it: I sometimes grow weary of hearing about all the challenges faced by pastors and pastors' wives and pastors' kids. Is a pastor's vocation really so different from any other? Can it really be such a challenge to the rest of his family? Could it be that pastors are just a little too sensitive about the whole thing?
I haven't been a pastor long enough to speak with a whole lot of authority. But a few years into this life, I can at least vouch that a pastor's family does face a number of unique challenges, challenges that are different from those faced by a small business owner or salaried employee. (I have been both.) Pastoral ministry is a difficult calling not just for a man, but for his whole family.
Brian Croft has a burden for practical matters of pastoral ministry and writes often at practicalshepherding.com. He has teamed up with his wife to Cara to write The Pastor's Family. This is a book that calls a pastor to the task of shepherding his family through the challenges of pastoral ministry.
It took only a few pages for the book to help me grasp something that should be obvious but that had largely escaped me until now. Much of what makes a pastor's challenge unique as he shepherds his family does not come from the church but from his own heart. In the chapter titled simply "The Problem," Croft shows that pastors face internal demands of approval, appearance, success, and much besides. These are expectations the pastor places upon himself and they can soon come to control him and to dominate his decision-making. The demands soon become idols, things that hold out the promise of satisfaction and significance. Soon a man will sacrifice his family and neglect their care in order to pursue satisfaction. "The problem rests not in the demands and pressures we face but in how we create idols out of those demands, idols that lead us to neglect our family and dishonor God."
The solution is to better understand, appreciate and apply the good news of what Christ has accomplished, and to understand that our significance is found in him. "Struggling pastors need to rely on two facets of the biblical gospel is they hope to experience its power: they need to own their sin, acknowledging their neglect and failure, and they need to rely on the grace Christ offers, trusting in the gifts and promises of God rather than in their own efforts to secure what they want and need."
With the foundation laid, the Crofts go on to write several chapters about the pastor's wife and the pastor's family. In most cases Brian writes the chapter with Cara adding comments here and there; in two cases, though, Cara leads the way and leaves Brian to add his comments. It is quite an effective format that accomplishes two things: it adds a woman's perspective and wisdom and it also makes the book more applicable to a pastor's wife. The Crofts strike a good balance between the descriptive and the prescriptive, between what the Bible commands and wise applications of that truth. They open up their church, their home and their family just enough to give us a glimpse of principles in action.
There are a few parts of the book that were especially helpful to me: the section on serving, encouraging and discipling your wife; the section on praying with and for your wife; the practical instructions for individually discipling your children; and the two chapters written by Cara, since they helped me better understand the challenges my wife does face or may soon face.
All throughout the history of the church there have been pastors--and you may well know some of them--who have sacrificed their families on the altar of ministry. Too many neglected wives and forsaken children can testify to men who time and time again chose ministry in place of family. Every pastor can testify to the power of this temptation, which is exactly why there is such an urgent need for The Pastor's Family. This book challenges pastors to care first and best for their wives and children and it carefully draws upon biblical wisdom to allow them to do that very thing. It is a book I intend to read with Aileen and one I heartily recommend to every pastor.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Identifies the problem; gives practical guidance for a solution
By C.T. Eldridge
One of the main reasons pastors struggle with caring for their families is because they judge success in the same way that the world judges success. Big numbers, big crowds, big platform, big buildings, big, big, big. But this definition of success leaves the pastor with little time, mental bandwidth, and faithful presence to give to his family. The regret of failures pulls him into the past. The need to hit a home run on the next sermon, the next project pulls him into the future. Meanwhile, he can't be sincerely, fully present for his family in the moment. The demands for his time and attention are louder and more powerful as they come from his staff and church members than they are from his family. So the pastor's family gets the leftovers. This experience leaves wives, sons, and daughters burned. It becomes easy for them to become bitter at their husband, father, pastor, and the church he leads.
Brian acknowledges and calls out this problem. And he gives this helpful, memorable line: It's not you; it's me. This line is the way a pastor should own his family's difficulties with his vocation. And then the majority of the book lays out plans, priorities, and practical advice for how to care for your family as a pastor. The book gives a thorough vision for managing one's household while also managing the household of God.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
The Joy of Ministry and Family
By Cameron
At this moment, I’m finishing up my third year of full-time pastoral ministry. I remember studying for the ministry, and one of the things my professors ingrained in us repeatedly was that we must guard the calling. Burnout is too prevalent among current ministers. One of the most vulnerable areas of burnout for a pastor is undoubtedly his family. When a family is consistently placed second to the ministry, it has devastating consequences. So, as a new dad myself, I wanted–I needed–to read something on protecting my family.
Brian and Cara Croft have a unique book here. They offer some incredibly practical warnings and advice for the pastor and his family. Throughout each chapter, both Brian and Cara have an opportunity to share from their unique perspectives. This makes portions of the book more directed toward the minister’s wife. A part of me wishes the book was divided into parts for easier readability, but, nonetheless, the presence of both voices was necessary and appreciated. Additionally, each chapter concludes with discussions for the family.
At the same time, I wish the book talked about the joys and benefits of ministry that affect the family. Much of the book takes a somber tone of ministers who inappropriately balanced their home and church. While this is certainly saddening and devastating, there are also ministers who enjoyed the blessings of a family and church balanced. They hit on this fact momentarily throughout the chapters, but I wish more attention was given to this detail. The tone appeared to be more, “Guard your family from the church!” Rather, I wish the tone communicated, “Live in a way so that your family grows to appreciate and love the church!” That really ought to be our aim as ministers.
Nevertheless, this is a valuable book to every minister. I recommend it to the young ministers such as myself. May we heed the warnings within this book and be a generation marked by our healthy stewardship and priorities. It’s also a book for the veterans in ministry as it simply offers more ways we can each connect with our families. If you’re not in ministry, it probably won’t speak to you on the same level. Yet, it will give you a glimpse into the pastor’s life and home–hopefully creating a deeper understanding.
Please note, I was given a free copy of this book by NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion and review.
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